i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
smell my finger.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
