I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
