Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
