can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
