I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
