It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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