I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
