I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
