How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
