i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
