It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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