Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
