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He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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