apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
