Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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