I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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