We won't sleep together?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
