yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
