Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
