Sry I called you an 8
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
