my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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