I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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