butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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