Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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