He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
