Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
