Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
