that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
