Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
