No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
