I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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