just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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