Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
