Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
