I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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