ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
