Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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