I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
