Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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