My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
