ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
