I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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