So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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