Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
