Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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