What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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