What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
