i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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