I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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