what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
