Having a random hookup so left but love u
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
