That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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