Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
